Monday, January 12, 2009

The Perfect Conservative

The perfect Tory would be:

  1. As competent as George Osborne

  2. As Eurosceptic as Kenneth Clarke

  3. As relevant as Norman Tebbit

  4. As normal as John Redwood

  5. As experienced as David Cameron

  6. As intellectually brilliant as Francis Maude

  7. As close to export industries as Stuart Wheeler

  8. As credible with the City as George Osborne

  9. As committed to public service as William Hague

  10. Or Alan Duncan, come to think of it

  11. As much a countryman as Michael Portillo

  12. As good a big-city mayor as Boris Johnson

  13. Or Eric Pickles, come to think of it

  14. As libertarian as Michael Howard

  15. As sound on foreign affairs as Bernard Jenkin

  16. As anti-racist as Patrick Mercer

  17. As resistant to state fear-mongering as Patrick Mercer

  18. As resistant to state fear-mongering as Andrew Pelling

  19. As tough on the real-estate lobby as Philip Hammond

  20. As useful as Philip Hammond

  21. As noteworthy as Chris Grayling

  22. Or Caroline Spelman

  23. Or that other one - you know

  24. Yeah, Ms Thingy

  25. Or Mr Who? No idea, me

  26. I know. As accountable as Simon Milton

  27. As honest as Anthony Browne

  28. And as handsome as William Hague!

There are some Conservatives who are not included in this joke. They are left as an exercise for the reader.


Anonymous said...

Mercer: "I came across a LOT of ethnic minority soldiers who were idle and useless, but who used racism as cover for their misdemeanours", later he told BBC Radio 4's PM programme that in his 25-year military career he had only TWICE come across soldiers claiming racism when disciplined for poor performance.

Sounds somewhat racist to me!

Lord Taylor, was right Mercer’s comments were "insensitive" especially so to the plight of the black and ethnic minority soldiers suffering racism in the British Army.

Mercer did not seem to me to be opposed to the unfair treatment of people who belong to other racial groups.

John B said...

I suspect that may have been the point. Either that, or Alex is claiming that George Osborne is competent and credible with the City.

kostenloser Counter