Of course, if we seized the Saudi and Iranian oil fields and ran the pumps full speed, oil prices would plummet, dictators would be broke, and poor nations would benefit from cheap energy. But we'd be called imperialist oppressors, then.
From here on we can only get cleverer.
Update: Whoops, I called top too soon. Consider Dr. Henry Jordan, candidate for the Lieutenant-Governorship of South Carolina.
"I think everything ought to be taught ... and let people decide for themselves. There is no science to support trans-species changes, in other words, a monkey becoming a man," the Republican said in an interview Monday with The Associated Press.My mind burns! The defensive rationalisations do nothing, nothing I tell you! What is most worrying is that, in between bouts of deranged demagoguery, he practices general surgery.
"A bunch of amoebas didn't get together and design all this," Jordan said, referring to the human body. "We'd be operating on people ... looking at their hearts, their liver and their lungs, I'd tell the techs, 'Can you believe those little amoebas figured all this out?'
"I mean you've got to be stupid to believe in evolution, I mean really," he said.
If I am ever taken ill in South Carolina, please do not call an ambulance. Instead, conceal whatever horror has befallen my carcass by whatever means you find necessary to keep the BA check-in staff from freaking out too badly and ship me back to the UK. I'll take the risk of expiring before flopping into the Heathrow port health authorities' arms over treatment by amoeba boy. Failing that, make it quick.